COALITION OF THE STUPID

The only time in my life that I ever got SERIOUSLY drunk happened years and years and years ago. I had just finished a church softball game and, as usually happens during or after Episcopalians do pretty much anything social, my team hit the beer hard after the game.

At least I did, anyway.  Our team's coach, a really good guy, kept handing them to me and I kept drinking them.  I drove myself home, which was a sin by itself, and why I didn't get pulled over and slapped with a DUI, God only knows.

My mom knew I was plastered. 

And that would have been that except for the fact that the next day, I was scheduled to take a civil service exam to get a job with the Postal Service.

And I was SERIOUSLY hung over.

I think that was the only time in my life that I actually kind of impressed my dad.  He suggested a few things to deal with it.  Long story short, I took the test and, of course, didn't get the job.

Which still irritates me.

Gavin Clarkson, a recent candidate for New Mexico secretary of state, experienced a one-of-our-50-states-is-missing moment earlier this month when applying for a marriage license in the nation's capital.

Clarkson, who lives in Las Cruces, and his then-fiancée visited the District of Columbia Courts Marriage Bureau on Nov. 20 to apply for a marriage license.

But, once there, the couple encountered a small problem, Clarkson said. The clerk wouldn't accept Clarkson's driver's license – from New Mexico – as proof of his identity. Rather, the clerk, who mistakenly believed Clarkson was a foreign citizen, said he would have to provide an international passport to get the marriage license.

After Clarkson objected, the clerk went to check with a supervisor, who confirmed Clarkson would need a passport.

"You know you are from flyover country when you are applying for a marriage license, give them your New Mexico driver's license, and they come back and say: 'My supervisor says we cannot accept international driver's licenses. Do you have a New Mexico passport?'" Clarkson posted on Facebook recently.

GAME CHANGER

It astonishes me just how much of a professional sports revolution has occurred in my home town in the last several years.  Although this is just a preliminary step, the following is, from all indications, going to happen.  The ownership group is solid, political support in the City of St. Louis seems to be strong, the media here have run story after story about the MLS and quite a few regular people in this area, including me, are genuinely excited about the prospect.

The St. Louis Housing, Urban Development and Zoning committee unanimously passed a resolution in support of an MLS stadium plan in the city on Wednesday.

The vote, which came after a hearing, means the plan will next go before the St. Louis Board of Aldermen, the legislative body for the city. That vote could come as soon as Friday, but a report from local outlet KMOX indicates it could be delayed to raise more support among the aldermen.

The plan is for a privately funded $250 million stadium of approximately 20,000 capacity in St. Louis, to be located west of Union Station in the city.

Contrast that with what would happen if the NFL's Los Angeles Chargers decided that they didn't want to be Stan Kroenke's bitches and started nosing around here wondering what St. Louis would be willing to do for them.

Well, we'd tell them, we still have the dome which isn't that old.  We'll get it ready for you, make what improvements we can in it and you can play there for at least the next fifty years.  If you don't like that, all we can suggest is to return to San Diego and beg their forgiveness.

The NFL killed this market.

UPDATE: It's pretty close to a done deal.

DOUCHEBEARD GIVES UP

I appreciate this kind of honesty.  I know this is what they think but to have one come out and admit it is actually refreshing.

MILLENIALS ARE STUPID

or, The Case For Raising The Voting Age To 40.

Younger Americans are turning on the country and forgetting its ideals, with nearly half believing that it isn’t “great,” and many eyeing the U.S. flag as “a sign of intolerance and hatred,” according to a new and disturbing survey.

Those who came of age under former President Obama also have a larger than life view of the 44th president and feel that he had a “bigger impact” on the United States than the father of the country and leader of the Revolutionary War, former President George Washington.

GOOD LORD, MOVIES

If you don't want me to show up, just tell me.

ROBIN HOOD: Within its first five minutes, nefariously-coated Ben Mendelsohn draws up a series of fancy calligraphed scrolls, stamps them, sends them off. Robin gets one, unfurls it, at the top it says “DRAFT NOTICE.” He gets a DRAFT NOTICE FOR THE CRUSADES.

Pitch: how the Transformers won the Battle of Gettysburg.

BADGE OF HONOR

I'm starting to think that getting run from Twitter was the single greatest compliment I've ever received.  Because Glenn Reynolds has officially had it.

People seem to want more, and although there’s nothing duller than posting a screed on why you’re quitting a platform, here’s the gist: I’ve never liked Twitter even though I’ve used it. I was a late adopter, and with good reason. It’s the crystal meth of social media — addictive and destructive, yet simultaneously unsatisfying. When I’m off it I’m happier than when I’m on it. That it’s also being run by crappy SJW types who break their promises, to users, shareholders, and the government, of free speech is just the final reason. Why should I provide free content to people I don’t like, who hate me? I’m currently working on a book on social media, and I keep coming back to the point that Twitter is far and away the most socially destructive of the various platforms. So I decided to suspend them, as they are suspending others. At least I’m giving my reasons, which is more than they’ve done usually.

UPDATE: Yup.  I've got less and less use for the damned thing.

WHO SHOT MR. BURNS?

Humor is dead in America.

Scientists are proposing an ingenious but as-yet-unproven way to tackle climate change: spraying sun-dimming chemicals into the Earth's atmosphere.

 

The research by scientists at Harvard and Yale universities, published in the journal Environmental Research Letters, proposes using a technique known as stratospheric aerosol injection, which they say could cut the rate of global warming in half.

 

The technique would involve spraying large amounts of sulfate particles into the Earth's lower stratosphere at altitudes as high as 12 miles. The scientists propose delivering the sulfates with specially designed high-altitude aircraft, balloons or large naval-style guns.

 

What could go wrong?  Damned if we know.

 

Despite the technology being undeveloped and with no existing aircraft suitable for adaptation, the researchers say that "developing a new, purpose-built tanker with substantial payload capabilities would neither be technologically difficult nor prohibitively expensive."

 

"We make no judgment about the desirability of SAI," the report states. "We simply show that a hypothetical deployment program commencing 15 years hence, while both highly uncertain and ambitious, would indeed be technically possible from an engineering perspective. It would also be remarkably inexpensive."

 

The researchers also acknowledge potential risks: coordination between multiple countries in both hemispheres would be required, and stratospheric aerosol injection techniques could jeopardize crop yields, lead to droughts or cause extreme weather.

 

The proposals also don't address the issue of rising greenhouse gas emissions, which are a leading cause of global warming.

 

But Science^TM and crap.

ON THE OTHER HAND...

People in this country don't give a diarhetical crap whether or not people in other countries consider American presidents to be "legitimate."

Howard Dean, a former Vermont governor and 2004 Democratic presidential candidate, said Thursday that America's perception in the world isn't suffering too badly under President Trump because many don't see him as the nation's legitimate leader.
 
"I think people don’t actually really consider Trump a legitimate president," Dean said on MSNBC. "He was obviously elected and all this business, but he does not represent American values. George W. Bush did represent American values and our numbers went down as a result."

"I think people are beginning to understand that Trump does not represent American values," he continued. "He doesn’t even really represent the values of most people who voted for him."

Yeah, just keep telling yourself that, HoDo.

HITTING FOR THE CYCLE

Chuckie's really good at Twitter, you have to give him that.  Two mutually-exclusive opinions in 280 characters would be tough for anyone to pull off.

WHY YOU GOT TRUMP

Long story short, it's as simple as it can possibly be.  The American people prefer their presidents to actually like the country they wish to lead.

Former President Barack Obama said "racism" and "mommy issues," among other contributors, were limiting the country's ability to make progress on everything from education to climate change.

Obama, speaking at the Obama Foundation Summit on Monday night, said the answers already exist to solve many of the problems facing both the U.S. and the world, but that the nation was not making progress "because we are still confused, blind, shrouded with hate, anger, racism, mommy issues."

The former president said people "literally can remake the world right now," which "badly needs remaking."

And let's be honest.  The GOP's institutional "conservatives," in the party and out of it, knew who Obama was back in 2008.  So who did they run against him?  John McCain, the most institutional candidate possible.

Who, as we all know, lost.  So who did big-league Republicanism put forward against Obama four years later?  Mitt Romney, a liberal Republican that the party unsuccessfully attempted to pass off as a jen-yoo-wine conservative.

Who also lost, which gained Obama four more years to lead a country that he and his party basically detest. 

Isn't that a bit strong, Chris?

Not at all.  If you live in Missouri, you just got done seeing it if you saw any of Claire McCaskill's campaign ads.  Claire talking to Missouri farmers.  Claire and Missouri's veterans.  Claire running for the tall grass rather than associating with the national Democratic Party.

If she'd gone back to the Senate, Claire would have immediately resumed her position as one of Chuck Schumer's wind-up toys and would have immediately forgotten that a place called Missouri actually exists and that Missourians live there.

Lather, rinse, repeat.  In American politics, six years is forever. 

Bottom line?  I'm not going to vote for anybody who's implicitly or explicitly embarrassed or humiliated to share a nationality with me. 

Which is why you got Trump.