PETE?

Yeah...no.

"The purpose of the presidency is not the glorification of the president, but the unification of the American people."

The president of the United States is neither this country's king not its presiding bishop.  He is America's First Civil Servant.

And that's all he is or ever will be.

BRAIN TEASER

What's wrong with this sentence?

He told lawmakers that he was deeply troubled by what he interpreted as an attempt by the president to subvert U.S. foreign policy and an improper attempt to coerce a foreign government into investigating a U.S. citizen.

A BETTER IDEA

Don't be a blithering idiot and/or tap the staff.

OH MANDY

CNN sucks the soul out of yet another formerly-interesting voice.

HOW TO TELL WHEN YOU'RE OLD

When one out of every eight to ten of your sentences begins with, "When I was a kid..."

DOUCHEBEARD HEARTS OLIVER CROMWELL

If you're interested in how well the following would work, read any decent history of the English Civil War, paying particular attention to England after the execution of Charles I.

SMOKE SIGNALS

Cigar Store has released details of her We're Going To Fix Health Care And We Mean It This Time Since From All Indications, The Democrat Passed Obamacare Seems Not To Have Accomplished Anything At All health care plan  Want to know how I know it's worthless?

Quick tip: whenever a funding formula repeatedly mentions various iterations of "the wealthy," the money's not there, the money never will be there and you can take that to the bank.

So to speak.

UPDATE:  Pretty much, yeah.  Basically this monstrosity steals money from people Cigar Store doesn't like and showers it on people she does like.

UPDATE: Yeah, this is SO going to happen.

UPDATE: If you like your transmission, you can keep your transmission.

GREATLY EXAGGERATED

American journalism might not be as dead as I thought it was.  I'm starting to have more than a little bit of a crush on CBS's Jan Crawford.

DAD?

Grampa's having another episode.

Right.  "The greed of private equity vultures" is what's "destroying journalism across the country."  I thought journalism itself was doing that but okay.  Dear LORD, dementia is a horrible way to die.  If I can't go in my sleep, give me a nice, quick heart attack any day of the week.

AHOY

Insert Al Gore, Leonardo DiCaprio or videoconference jokes here.

A group of climate activists crossing the Atlantic by sailboat to a UN summit in Chile were shocked to learn the event was canceled -- four weeks into their grueling voyage.
 

The 36 young environmentalists set off from Amsterdam on October 2, using a sailboat in order to highlight the impact of flying on greenhouse gas emissions.

 

If you give me a minute, I might be able to come up with a "hunter-gatherer migration" crack.