YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE LEO SAYER

Here's my idea.  A new professional football league.  Eight, ten, twelve teams, something like that.  Maybe more.  We play the games in the usual way but here's the difference between our league and the XFL, the CFL or the NFL.

While the game's being played, we don't keep any scores.  But at the end of each game, viewers phone or log in and tell us who the better team was.  Team with the most votes wins.

Can't see a down side. 

STELTER THEATRE

Outstanding job staying on top of the most important news stories there, Edward R.

YUP

Been there more times than I care to admit.

OUR NEIGHBORS TO THE NORTH WATCH

Things could get interesting up Canada way.  Redacted Face barely won another term but without any support at all in two extremely important Western provinces.

If campaigners in oil-rich Alberta and other western Canadian provinces get their way, North America could be getting a new country. The separatist movement in the region, which has been on-again, off-again for almost a century, has been experiencing a resurgence since Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's Liberal Party was narrowly re-elected last month despite not winning a single seat in Alberta or Saskatchewan. At a "Wexit" rally in Edmonton on Saturday, separatist leader Peter Downing wore a "Make Alberta Great Again" hat as he explained the movement to the CBC. He cited anger at carbon taxes and a "direct attack on western Canadian industry."

Will anything come of this?  Probably not. 

No doubt the sentiment's there.  I once read an article quoting a western Canadian as saying something to the effect that western Americans understand us better than eastern Canadians do.  And the fact of the matter is that this continent is now and has always been divided wrong. 

But secesh talk is the easiest thing in the world. 

WORDS OF WISDOM

Good golly Miss Molly, sure like to ball. - Dag Hammarskjöld

Purple haze, all in my brain. - Montesquieu

EVER HAD SHINGLES?

Although this is extremely rare, I've had it twice.  The second time, the pain was so intense and so damned-near impossible to avoid that I literally thought that I was going to go insane.

Let me pass sentence and the bitch gets five years, no parole, no early release. 

Minimum.

STELTER THEATRE

All the available evidence indicates that while Trump's cup of coffee this morning may have been good, it cannot in any sense of the term empirically be called "outstanding."

UPDATE: Brian Stelter assignment desk.  Does Trump actually prefer stuffing instead of potatoes?  CNN is on top of it.

UPDATE: Ballgame.  Thanks for playing.

UPDATE: Seriously, Bri-Bri.  Get professional help.

BRI-BRI?

Cigar Store's trillion-dollar health care plan doesn't need to be fact-checked but this does?  Please don't ever again question why anyone thinks CNN is a joke.

UPDATE: OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ONE THIRD OF A PAWN SHOP SIGN.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Since California is SO well-governed, let's have Sacramento take over the power company.

Gov. Gavin NewsomGavin Christopher NewsomCalifornia Governor Newsom and family dress as 2020 Democrats for HalloweenProgressives and America's New Dark Ages in CaliforniaThe Hill's Morning Report - Presented by Better Medicare Alliance - Dems unveil impeachment measure; Vindman splits GOPMORE (D-Calif.) threatened Friday that the state of California could take over the Pacific Gas and Electric utility company if it does not pull itself out of bankruptcy by mid-2020.

"PG&E as we know it may or may not be able to figure this out. If they cannot, we are not going to sit around and be passive," Newsom said at a press conference. "If Pacific Gas and Electric is unable to secure its own fate and future ... then the state will prepare itself as backup for a scenario where we do that job for them."

Gav?  I love you, buddy, but I just can't see this idea working on any level above total disaster.

AND NOW...IDIOTS

Sure makes me wonder what those 600,000 corpses racked up here between 1861 and 1865 were all about but whatever you say, you drunken airhead.