OH WELL

I guess I'll have to give up goofing on Mikey Nats because it can't be done any better than this.  Here's some supermarket samples.

Remember when Michael Avenatti was the Democrats’ big hope for 2020? He wasn’t just that, though. Parachuting in to launch his presidential campaign to the DNC’s “Ethnic Council” and its black caucus in Chicago in August, he enthusiastically adopted the party’s guiltspeak. “People that look like me, white men, we need to stand up,” he told his minority audience, exactly the kind of cost-free identity-politics self-castigation without which no Democrat can hope to rise very far. In the same month, Avenatti spoke at the “Democratic Wing Ding” dinner in Iowa and announced plans to visit at least 20 more states.

The response was fanatical. Avenatti was hailed as a hybrid attack dog and sex god. All Democrats bowed to the Trumpslayer. Picture a two-fisted, high-T version of 2008 Barack Obama, and you’ll have some idea of how professional Democrats viewed him as they rushed to polish his boots with their tongues. “Hottie Avenatti” became a meme. If geothermal hatred of President Trump was warming the Democratic party’s heart, Avenatti was the cause of significant engorgement in its undies. “I wouldn’t not f*** him,” one activist said. “Unprompted, several Democrats admiringly discussed Avenatti’s physique to VICE News,” ran one reporter’s account, noting that “I have a thing for bald guys” was a typical remark. (Great news, Joe Biden, you can take out your plugs!)

This was less than four months ago: Peak Avenatti. Since then his stock has followed somewhat of a Pets.com trajectory. In August, Avenatti stepped into a Twitter slap-fight between Jim Acosta and Sean Hannity and tried to invite himself to appear on the latter’s show (“Let’s go big boy”), earning only blunt dismissal for his efforts. Hannity informed the lawyer that only the president and “top newsmakers” could hope for an entire hour on his show anyway. Avenatti was reduced to looking like Jack Lemmon at the moment Alec Baldwin informed him that coffee is for closers.

Avenatti aimed his salvos at Republicans but wound up blasting off his own toes. September was when he announced with immense fanfare a new client: a woman spinning lunatic stories about Brett Kavanaugh’s supposed involvement in a high-school rape gang. When her account failed to attract any shred of corroboration from any of the many others who supposedly attended the felony fiestas she described, she backed off some of her claims in a TV interview while a supposedly corroborating second witness produced by Avenatti instead blamed him for misrepresenting her story. “I do not like that [Avenatti] twisted my words,” the second woman told NBC News.

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