I have lived nearly all my life in California, and my love for this place and its people runs deep and true. There have been many times in the past few years when I’ve called myself a California nationalist: Sure, America seemed to be going crazy, but at least I lived in the Golden State, where things were still pretty chill.
But lately my affinity for my home state has soured. Maybe it’s the smoke and the blackouts, but a very un-Californian nihilism has been creeping into my thinking. I’m starting to suspect we’re over. It’s the end of California as we know it. I don’t feel fine.
It isn’t just the fires — although, my God, the fires. Is this what life in America’s most populous, most prosperous state is going to be like from now on? Every year, hundreds of thousands evacuating, millions losing power, hundreds losing property and lives? Last year, the air near where I live in Northern California — within driving distance of some of the largest and most powerful and advanced corporations in the history of the world — was more hazardous than the air in Beijing and New Delhi. There’s a good chance that will happen again this month, and that it will keep happening every year from now on. Is this really the best America can do?
Deprived of luxuries like power and freedom, more and more Californians are being forced to run extension cords over to their neighbors in adjacent states.
A caravan of migrant Californians was seen traversing the deserts separating the state from its eastern neighbors, towing hundreds of miles' worth of extension cords.
Californians knocked on random Nevada and Arizona residents' doors and asked if they could borrow some power to charge their cellphones, power their espresso machines, and run their tanning beds. They were surprised to discover how nice people were in other states, saying things like, "Sure, neighbor!" and "No problem. Do you want to borrow any guns or cactuses?"
4 comments:
I would love to have a beer with the denizens of the Babylon Bee sometime.
Neither team could win at home? Wow!
Really? I follow the usual national rule about this particular baseball tournament. If the right team isn't playing in it, I don't care about it.
Crazy World Series. I still wish Charles Krauthammer was here.
California: My nephew and his wife, in Thousand Oaks, woke up to smoke yesterday and packed for a quick exit. So far, they haven't had to go. Three years ago, my sister's house stood, just a third of a mile from the edge of that terrible Ventura County fire. They spent five days evacuated, not knowing if their property would survive, having had to leave in a hurry at 3 a.m. My brother, in the San Fernando Valley, had heavy smoke a week ago. And that's without the earthquake risk! I visit my family, but you couldn't pay me to live there.
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